Social Networking and The Mask

I wonder whether some of these sites are really being “Social” or just get us irritated and make us “aunty (anti) social”. Orkut has proved itself as an EPIC failure and I face palm myself now when I think back on how I refused to have an FB account and thought Orkut was much better. My husband went ahead and created his FB account around 2008 and he started boasting how much better it was and how “hepper” it is. I used to sneak in once a while but my false pride would never allow me to admit that it was indeed better. FB will never catch on like Orkut I would say. Sigh!!!! Once more he had proved me wrong and I finally opened my FB account licking my wound behind closed doors~lest he see me and gloat over it :-).

I love FB now and can’t seem to live without checking it umpteen times. How did we spend our time before the caesarean of FB??? What did I do for time pass? I just can’t seem to remember. Now FB on the laptop, FB on the phone-FB here and a FB there, everywhere a FB..I’m sure even old Mac Donald would have had his FB page with all of us liking photos of his Cows, Hens and Turkeys :-).

Yes, FB has thrived on the simple truth that everyone is interested in what everyone else is doing. Just plain and simple curiosity, and boy how they have made money with that! How much ever one says “oh I’m not interested in other people’s lives”, we all love to see where they have gone for their holidays, what restaurants they have visited, what clothes they are wearing, how they look in their profile pictures. Everyone likes appreciation and what better way than showing all your friends at one shot what you have been up to. Imagine if we still had to develop all our photo prints and stock them in albums and dig them out to show it to those who visit us!! I would have had to own a few of those 18-wheeler trucks to stock all our pictures the way the hubby keeps clicking!

As for me-I am not a stalker, but I love to see photos of my friends. I love taking pictures (a hobby which has rubbed onto me from my photography mad hubby) and like posting them on FB. But there are few things that get my goat…

And they are (Disclaimer – Not to offend anyone)

1. People who download some 100-200 photos from their camera and upload ALL of them into ONE single album on FB – seriously people!!! No one is so interested in all your 200 odd photos.

2. People who don’t have the patience to sort out clear and sharp pictures from their phones and cameras and post blurred, ghostly, dark, distorted pics – Please for heaven’s sake, we like to see your pictures, but please, please spare us those horror/thriller movie type stills. This is what I would like to actually say to them

 Mask Guns

3. People who keep “sharing” photos of Gods and quotes from religious books asking people to hit like and share – I only feel like hitting you and sharing that “hit” picture. Agreed you are very devout and very religious, but do you have to share all those God’s pictures and make others feel as though they are going to be fried in hot oil in Hell if they don’t? For me, I do believe in God-but I am not a fanatic and don’t like to carry my religion on my sleeve. It’s something personal for me.

4. People who have only sarcastic things to comment and think it’s their way of joking. Well, children..if you don’t have anything really funny or nice to say, just look at the status updates/photos/comments and keep that hole under your nose shut. No one is forcing you to comment and NOOOO if you put a smiley at the end of it, it does not make it funny.

5. People who click all kinds of links popping up on their page and magnanimously passing Virus/spam onto other people. No, I know it’s free, but no thanks!

6. People who keep tagging all their one hundred and twenty two and a half friends on their photos so that everyone gets an alert for their photos. Middle of the night we might be snoring or up to some serious romantic stuff….and “ting ting” goes off either of our phones! Yes..a tag from someone to show something!! OMG..we are busy now, but our hands do reach our for the phone ending in serious “face palming” and YeSSS we have to start all over again!!! Why do you have to see your phone you may ask, but that is a question which does not have an answer…or does it??? 🙂

7. Yes I understand that each one has a right to wear anything that you feel comfy and that “YOU” think suits you. But err, when you post photos just ensure that whatever has to stay inside stays inside and does not fall all over the place. Please think of the others once a while and let not their eyes become like this 🙂

Mask Eyes

8. People who update statuses with “I will be off FB for a few days” and update another message and upload photos the next day. Dude, what are you trying to prove? you want to know how many people will miss you??? The truth is – you will be seriously disappointed. Sorry, but fact is a fact.

9. People who forward all the jokes/sms’s they receive. Those who forward all those Good morning and philosophical messages….grrrr, I would have lost all my teeth by now if they really had the ability to be ground.

10. Those who keep sending game and app requests. Hey, you want to play, please play. Play from when the sun rises till he goes down over the valley and into the sea. But for heaven’s sake, don’t spread your crab claws and invite me for everything.

11. You want to sincerely wish people on their birthday, I get it. A wish on somebody’s birthday does make them happy. But just because you have an “app” that reminds you about it a week in advance, don’t shoot off birthday wishes in advance. You want to finish off a pending work or wish somebody truthfully? Can’t you see the DOB displayed on the reminder? If you so want to wish me, note it down somewhere else (if you login only once a week) and wish me ON the B-Day. Do you know that it’s actually irritating when you get a wish when it’s not your birthday?. So chill mate, even if you don’t wish me on my  birthday, its ok. Please don’t be such a cashew-nut (slang for over-enthusiastic).

12. Last, but not least important – those who send friend requests without a profile picture and with no “info” about them whatsoever. You are not Brad Pitt for me to recognise you with just your name my dear…and even if you were Brad Pitt, I would not accept it. All you John and Jane Doe’s – do not expect my fraaaandship without your real information. For Heaven’s sake (yeh yeh I know I told you I’m not verrrri religious) just because you put your profile photo and your true information out there, no one is going to stalk you. And just because I said “Hi, nice meeting you” when I met you when you were with my friend, you can’t assume that I will accept your friend request. You are an acquaintance and I will decide whether you need to be in my friend category. So don’t get all weepy and revengeful if I don’t accept your request. I don’t want to display my thoughts, emotions and photos with all and sundry. Thank God for the “restricted list” on FB for some people even though they are on my friends list.

This post is meant as a satire. Just see it as “the whole country of the system is juxtapositioned by the haemoglobin in the atmosphere because you are a sophisticated rhetorician intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity”

anthony-gonsalves-egg

Keep Smiling..Happy Weekend Folks 🙂

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